I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonnette

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henry Youngman

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

You might be a redneck if your senior prom had daycare.

A blonde walks into a bar and orders 18 beers.

"Why so many?" asked the bartender.

"Can't you read the sign?" replied the blonde, "It says 'no one served under 18.'"

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.